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Dr G's frequently asked questions: Crushes

What do you do if you know you’re in love with this guy but you don’t know if he feels the same way about you and you’re too scared to ask him if he is or not/ Samantha
Dr G replies:
Nothing else for it, you’ll just have to gather up your courage and ask him. Can you get a friend to check it out with him or his friends might help?
Could be useful to have a think about the difference between love, lust, and infatuation. Infatuation or crush is when we get a bit fixated on a person, sometimes without knowing them. The dictionary says ’possessed by a foolish or extravagant passion for another person.’ Lust is a strong desire or passion for sexual gratification for someone. Love usually means a strong attachment or feeling for someone. In love is the state of strong emotional attachment and usually  sexual attraction. Just thought these definitions might help you to sort out how you feel for this person.
I have had a crush on this guy for about 3 years, is that normal? My friends seem to like a different guy every few months.
Dr G replies:
Hi. I think it’s fine for you to have a crush on this one guy. Yes that’s normal. You don’t have to be like your friends and keep liking different guys every few months. Just enjoy your crush. Sounds like this is normal for you.
I like this guy in the class above me, and he likes me, but I already have a bf and don’t wanna be disloyal. I have fantasies bout him but i feel all guilty bout it! Help me.
Dr G replies:
It could just be a crush on this other guy, and quite normal. Don’t worry about it and wait and see what develops. In the meantime you are getting good practice at being a girlfriend.
Im in a really confusing time right now. U see a while back I really loved this guy but Ii didnt now if he loved me. Shortly after I started dating my best friend when i found out that the guy i had a crush on loved me to. so i dumped my boyfriend and im wondering if i should take to the other guy. Please help me out on this one.
Dr G replies,
I can see why you are confused. Take some time to work out what you really want. Check out with the first guy if he still has feelings for you. Strong feelings can be over quite quickly sometimes, like an infatuation or crush, they come and go. A good relationship is based on friendship, caring, and feelings.
I have been having very big crushes on males at my school since it’s an all boys school and I think that maybe I’m homosexual, but I don’t want to be. I have very strong feelings for males and not for females. What do you think I should do?
Dr G replies:
It’s normal to have the occasional crush on people of either or both genders. If you continue to experience these feelings for males then you could check it out further by talking about it with someone who understands issues like this. I would recommend a counsellor, like those at 198 Youth Health Centre. It’s free and you can make an appointment over the phone. Talking about things can really help us to work out what is right for us and to appreciate ourselves for the unique humans we are. Your sexuality is one part of who you are and take your time to explore.
I am in love with my swimming instructor. He’s 17 and im only 13. I want his number but i dnt know if he already has a gf but i really like him. I’m kinda bad round him and act immature round him but its only cause i like him!
Dr G replies:
Well sounds like you have a big crush on this guy. At least it’s good that you can see you are acting immature around him as that could really put him off. As you say, you don’t even know if he already has a girl friend anyway. I’d say take it easy around him and get to know him better before you make a move like getting his mobile number. You can enjoy the feelings of being in love but don’t need to act on them.
Me and my ex-bf hav been broken up for 3 months now cause his friends and mine says that he’s been going out with another girl for 1 month when i was overseas and says that he didn’t cheat on me and wanted to get back together. He says that they said that he was cheating on me just to split us up!!! I don’t know who to trust? wat should i do? HELP!!!! Jessica, 13
Dr G replies:
Hi Jessica
If you want to get back with your ex-boyfriend go and talk to him. You need to decide then whether you believe him or not. If you think he’s worth it, give him a second chance. You may need to be a bit careful with those friends of yours. Only time will tell how much you can trust them in the future. Good luck.
 

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