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Please note: The Pulse Te Auaha and Doctor G have previously referred readers to the 198 Youth Health Centre.

This service no longer operates, but 198 Youth Health Centre counsellors now work from Waipuna Trust, 349 Woodham Road, Christchurch.
Phone 386 2159 to make an appointment. They provide a youth support service.

Find more local youth health and social services from Webhealth Canterbury.

Dr G's frequently asked questions: Boyfriends and girlfriends

Well, i have liked this guy for awhile. I was too shy to ask him for his # so i got it from a friend. Now i dont know what to do with it because what if a call him and he asks how or why i got his #!! HELP! Kendyl, 14
Dr G replies:
If you ring him it will be obvious that you like him because you wouldn’t bother otherwise. So you may just have to get over feeling embarrassed about that. It’s really OK to like somebody! Life would be pretty boring if we didn’t. So I think you should just go for it and see what happens. Hope it goes well. And remember it’s good to be friends with someone first before anything more romantic goes on.
How do you get a girlfriend?
Dr G replies:
One of the best ways is to make friends with girls first. Join a group of some kind and go from there. If you interests in common it helps, both friendship and anything more. Be yourself. Your are a unique human being so be yourself and do not try to be anyone you are not. Girls suss that out quickly and hate it.
How do you get a decent boyfriend without embarrassing yourself completely?
Dr G replies:
I'm not sure what part of it was embarrassing but anything new does take practice and may not feel comfortable at first. Get to know boys as friends first and look for people who have similar interests to you so it is easier to talk with each other. Boys find this business difficult too. Try the Attitude website. There are some good things in there about friendships. Hope this helps. There are decent boys out there.
I like this guy and he likes me but he is too shy to say anything or ask me out. I really like him and i dont want to be the one who asks the other person out!
Dr G replies:
Have you heard the saying “If you don’t ask you won’t get”? Well this is one of those times. If he is too shy to ask you out you will have to do it or just not go out with him. Think of it as practice and just do it.
I really like this girl. All ma friends say I am perfect for her. How can I ask her out??
Dr G replies:
Basically it’s a matter of just doing it. Sometimes it’s easiest to go out in a group until you are ready to go out as a couple.  Take your time, there’s no hurry.
I have just got ma first girl friend but I’m too shy to talk to her I just txt her. How can I be less shy?
Dr G replies:
Take your time. When you are ready talk with her in real time and become friends. As for being shy, stop telling yourself you are shy and try acting confident. Seems that if we keep telling ourselves we are shy we continue to be. Making friends does take practice.
hi there’s this guy who I know likes me and I like him to but we are both to shy to ask each other out! He told a friend of mine that he really liked me twice before and during these xmas holidays …so I just want know how to go about asking him out or even getting him to ask me out!
Dr G replies:
Just do it. Find the right time when he is on his own and ask him if he would like to meet at the mall, or somewhere like that. You’ll soon know if he is interested by his response and go from there. There is no easy, sure fire way of doing this. If you never ask him, you’ll never know. We all feel awkward the first time we ask someone out, and all have to just do it if we want a boyfriend.
I really like this guy but I don’t no how to tell him or if I should tell him?!
Dr G replies:
Well, you have a choice. You can just enjoy the feeling of liking someone. Or you can show him you like him be asking him to do something with you such as go to a movie or meet up at the mall. Or you can take a risk and tell him and see what happens!
Hi, Here it goes … I’ve known this girl for like five years now. I’m nearly 16. I want to ask her out on a date. What words or compliments could you suggest I could say that would melt the girl’s heart? What body language could I use to show her that I like her a lot and that I’m interested? You know what I mean. Thanks so much.
Dr G replies:
You’ve known her for five years so you must be friends, that’s a good start. The best thing you can do is to be yourself. Most girls hate it when guys try too hard to be someone they are not. Talk to her somewhere on her own, and just ask her out. Also saying that you like her will not go amiss. As to any contrived behaviour or made up compliments, forget it. Just be yourself.
I really like this guy but I am too afraid to ask him out. I have already asked him out and he said no.
Dr G replies:
Well, girl you have tried it once, so do ask him again and if he says no again, then it’s “ask someone else time”. Good luck and keep trying.
Hi. I really like this guy but I don’t know if he likes me. I’m not afraid to ask him but its his friends I’m worried about they might tease him or give him sh**. Help! What should I do?
Dr G replies:
Great that you feel you can ask him if he likes you.  Nice that you are worried about how his friends might tease him, but really if he likes you he won’t be bothered by friends’ comments. He can handle it.
I was just wanting to know how you know you are attracted to the opposite sex???
Dr G replies:We know we are attracted to another human being when:

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